Old97s.com

Hey all,

A story about the title.  My wife and I flew from Denver to Wisconsin with plans to see the band in Oshkosh and at Summerfest.  After the Oshkosh show, Rhett and Murray signed autographs including my blame it on gravity shirt.  A little later Ken and Murray came out to see Todd Rungren.  I apologized for interrupting and asked if Ken would sign my shirt trying to get another band member on it (other fans were around them).  He writes "Jay, Go to HELL!".  I asked why and got a lame excuse like "you said be obnoxious".  When I said that was not my recollection of my comment, Ken flipped me the BIRD and ran (yes ran) back stage.  I was not confrontational but confused by the message and wanted to understand. 

My wife and I discussed this occurence for some time after and this morning.  I know that Mr. Bethea is moody as I have seen him berate a fan at Gruene Hall.  I may have been "too much of a fan" and been an irritant to the band members.  If so, tell me with a civil comment.  We are just completely confounded. 

We planned our vacations around the band tour and hyped them to everyone we met.  I even exchanged a donation at the concert for agreement that the reciepent buy blame it on gravity.  I believe we were a free and heavy promoter of the band and introduced multiple new fans to them. 

I just don't get it.  It hurts.  I'm sitting in my Oshkosh hotel trying to decide how to deal with this.  Seriously, what would you do? 

Jay

I have had similar experiences with some other bands.  You never know what to expect when you approach them to get an autograph or talk to them.  Even the nicest people sometimes have a bad day and come across in a harsh manner.  I know it's easy to say and not so easy to do, but try and give Ken the benefit of the doubt and move on.  If you dwell on this thing it's only going to dampen your enthusiasm for the band, and I don't wish that on anyone.

 

How was the Oshkosh show btw?  Wish I could have been there.

Jay, If I found myself alone in an Oshkosh hotel room with your wife after having been told to "Go to Hell." by Mr Bethea, I'd pull back the covers on the bed, lie down on the bed next to your wife and then reach down, down into the drawer next to the bed, pull out the trusty Gideon's, turn to Matthew, chapter 18 and have your wife read it aloud to me starting @ verse 15.

Jay, I guess you never really know the whole story.  Maybe you were drunk and somehow came off as obnoxious.  Maybe he was tired from playing, and just wanted to hear Todd Rundgren.  Maybe somebody else said to write something obnoxious, and he thought it was you.  Maybe that's Ken's sense of humor.  Maybe the sense of entitlement you seem to feel about being their best fan in the entire world somehow showed through while you were talking to Ken, and that annoyed him.  Or maybe he just thought it was weird to sign a dude's shirt. 

 I wouldn't worry about it - it's doubtful it's any reflection on either you or Ken.  I think there's some kind of saying that we should never meet our heroes, and, sadly, that's probably good advice.

Sorry that you're bummed out, but personally, I'd have cracked up if Ken signed my shirt Go to Hell and then flipped me the bird.

 I'm kind of weird though.

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I hope you crash your momma's car.

I think the dude just doesn't like when people approach him in the rock star sense, and appreciates people who approach him as just a guy and has somethin to say outside of the hero-worship box , off the clock anyway.  That's the impression I get. I'm sure they all appreciate it, but it'd be nice to not have to be always on..and the band probably gets stuck in between both of those worlds so.. I dunno.. maybe that's  part of the appeal for 'em to keep playin' in the band. A differing sense of "time and place" -- it's not always easy to read the signals people throw off before they're approached.

<shrug>
I doubt it was anything more than of dealing with that kinda stress in a smartass kinda way.

You said Murry was there too... out of curiosity, what was his reaction? 

 

Hey Airtim.  Thanks for the comments.  It's Saturday and we are still deciding how to deal with the summerfest show.  I think we are going to watch from "afar".  At least that's what Marvel wants to do.

The Oshkosh show was short as they were opening up for Todd Rungren.  The fans were really great.  Old 97s fans were all around us and we exchanged storys and had a great time.  The band still has energy which is good. 

Thanks for the reply and advice.  Not sure if you were trying to be cute or actuall giving advice.  If it was advice, thanks but I don't look to a book for solutions.

Hey Tom.  Great comments.  I really appreciate it.  You are right that we need to keep some distance which has been a problem for me.  Robert Earl Keen manages to keep distance from everyone just by his personality.  I'm a fan but don't expect any interaction.  I think I need to take a few steps back.

Yeah, I heard that about you.

Hey Woolybugger.  Thanks for the comments.  Murray was there but was occupied by other fans.  Not sure if he even was aware of the situation.  I'm just going to move on.  It really does piss me off that Bethea thinks he can treat anyone like that.  I do think he has issues.  Really.

Jay,

The Zippo stage area is pretty large, so it will be easy to blend in if there is a large crowd.  Hard to tell what sized crowd will show.

If you are looking for another band to go see, at 10 pm Bodeans are playing I think at the Harley Davidson stage.  They put on a great show and should have a pretty large crowd.

Wow, that sucks when you meet someone that you admire, someone who's career you have done your best to support, and they turn out to behave like a jerk.  Ken strikes me, of the 4 guys, to be the one who can be a little prickly at time (though I've never met him, so don't know why I get that impression).  Rhett, Murry, and Philip seem to always have their PR faces on when they need to, Ken seems a little more genuine, like if he's in a bad mood, he's not going to be all phony and try to hide it.  Maybe he was tired, having a bad day, just had a disagreement with Rhett backstage, who knows?  Maybe that is his sense of humour.  He answered an e-mail of mine once, and was very chatty and nice.

 One of our very popular Canuck bands is Blue Rodeo, and they have 2 front men.  One, Jim, is always sunny and smiling, Mr. Congeniality.  The other, Greg, seems to run a little more hot and cold, just depending on his mood or whatever.  Maybe Ken is like that.

 

We actually got to spend an entire day with the band during the shooting of the music video for Dance With Me.  We got a slightly different Ken that day.  He spent about 30 minutes with a group of fans and fielded questions and talked candidly about life with the Old 97's.  He is definitely an up front, even if you don't like it type of guy and definitely comes off as not taking any crap (and I'm not implying that you gave any).  When we asked questions or made comments, if he didn't agree, he would definitely tell you, not the sensitive wanting to please type but I enjoyed him nonetheless for his frankness.  This may have been a case of the wrong dynamic at the wrong time and maybe a slight misunderstanding/clash of personalities.  Hope that helps.

Try to let it go, if you can.  Anybody can have a bad day and he might have been having one.  I can't really imagine how it would feel to be surrounded by people wanting your attention when you have somewhere else to be or something else on your mind, and that's the reality for celebrities.

Ken has always struck me as moody.  I've been going to see these guys for years, and I've sort of learned the vibe and when to approach and when to hang back.  Sometimes he initiates conversations.  You just never know which way it's going to go.  But I have seen him spend lots of time with the fans as well.  Generally he and Murry spend the most time with fans (at least in my experience). 

 I doubt he decided he just disliked you (though he could have; who knows).  As someone else said, he may have thought he was being funny.  Ken definitely has a sarcastic side.

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Still a firefly.